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When I first started coaching 14 years ago, I’d get asked “What is a Coach?” way more than I do now. This is a wonderful thing because that tells me that more and more people are seeking Coaches or at least understand what a Coach is. It also tells me that coaching is becoming a more accepted form of support in one’s career, life, or business. However, the question I do find myself answering often is “What is the difference between job search coaching and clarity career coaching?” Good question! “Isn’t it all career coaching?” Yes and no… FromWithin Coaching is proud to support hundreds of clients each year—from students to seasoned professionals. We love helping clients find a career that brings them happiness. It’s our specialty. But in order to understand how we can help you, it’s important for you to understand the difference between these two different types of career coaching – job search coaching and clarity coaching – so you can consider what might be the best fit for your specific situation. Job Search Coaching is for you if you are asking yourself any of these questions:
And so on… What you’ll see is a theme of strategy – “how” or “what” is the key in these questions. A job search coaching client is seeking strategy, tactics, steps, and hints on how to handle a job search. Career Clarity Coaching is for you if you are asking yourself any of these questions:
To sum it up: Clarity first – Job Search second. You don’t want to leave it to chance that you’ll find your dream job based on who is hiring the week you look at your career alerts, Indeed, or wherever you’re searching. Now that you know the difference, it’s up to you to ask yourself: “What support do I really need?” Is it getting clear on what might be next in your career, or how to get there? Finally, to lock in the learning I hope I was able to offer, as a lover of metaphors, I’d be remiss if I didn’t use one to explain the difference. Job searching coaching is for you if you’re driving your “car” on empty with the orange fuel light on and there is no gas station in sight. You need strategy to find the gas station. Clarity career coaching is for you when you don’t know which car to get into in the first place! Still not sure? No problem. We offer free exploratory calls to help you determine whether you need fuel or the clarity on which car to drive. -Coach Amy   Happy New Year! A friend of mine recently posted the following on Facebook: “The 3 C’s of Life: Choices, Chances, Changes. You must make the choice, to take a chance, if you want anything in life to change.” I couldn’t think of anything more appropriate for the work I see put in by my coaching clients. But then I thought some more and realized there was a 4th “C” to add: Courage. It takes courage to a) realize you DO have a choice in any situation, b) taking a chance can be risky, and c) with change can come great reward and satisfaction. As a coach I help my clients take stock of where they are, where they want to be, and what’s getting in the way of them realizing those goals. And I’ll be the first to say having that honest conversation with oneself often takes bucket loads of courage, especially if there is fear of failing. But what’s the cost of remaining where you are? Restlessness? Disengagement? Despair? Consider a new approach: are your talents being leveraged every day? Are you in a personal and professional environment that reflects your core values? Do you even know what your core values are? What’s holding you back from taking the leap you know you should be taking? If you have the courage to begin that exploration, make the choice to take a chance on developing a relationship with a professional coach, one whose purpose is to guide you towards change, ultimately landing you in a place of fulfillment and happiness, always a good spot to begin a new decade! Welcome, 2020! -Coach Lu Setnicka   “Gratitude drives happiness. Happiness boosts productivity. Productivity reveals mastery. And mastery inspires the world.” – Robert S. Sharma This week is the Thanksgiving Holiday week for those of us in the United States. Many will join with family and friends to celebrate and give thanks for the many blessings in our lives. The question, “What are you grateful for?” will be asked at dinner tables, church services, and classrooms. Social media will be full of gratitude posts this holiday week and TV channels will run many beloved Thanksgiving shows and specials. Thanksgiving week is focused on gratitude, but what would it be like if we lived every week practicing daily gratitude? The word gratitude has many definitions, depending on the context. Sansone and Sansone, 2010, define gratitude as “the appreciation of what is valuable and meaningful to oneself. It represents a general state of thankfulness and/or appreciation”. They and other researchers are finding that developing a daily gratitude practice allows us to pause and appreciate the many things we may take for granted in others, our surroundings, and in ourselves. It allows for a greater connection with the world around us as we become more mindful and aware of our surroundings. Distant beams of sunlight shining through the clouds on a stormy day, a glistening dewdrop on the flower petal as we walk by…. we begin to see and appreciate the beauty that is around us instead of going about our busy day inner focused and distracted. Practicing gratitude also helps us to realize there is a larger context around which our own personal story is unfolding. Positive psychology researcher, Richard Emmons, (2003) defines these two stages of gratitude as first being the acknowledgment of the good in our lives and the second being the recognition that the sources of this goodness lie outside of our self. This shift in focus away from our own individual situation, struggles, and suffering elevates our energy and invites positivity and hope into our lives. Studies on the effects of gratitude on our brain show that this elevation of energy is due to a enhancement of both serotonin and dopamine, the neurotransmitters responsible for happiness, along with an increase in cognitive restructuring due to evoking positive thinking (Zahn, et al 2014). Building the capacity to experience these elevated emotions takes us out of patterns of lower survival emotions, like fear and anxiety, and helps us to live happier, healthier, more joyful lives with increased connection to others and ourselves. When beginning to establish any type of desired, sustainable behavior change habit, it’s best to start small when developing your own gratitude practice. One way to begin is to take a few moments during the day to reflect on two or three things you are grateful for. Incorporate this reflection during a time in which you do something daily, such as brushing your teeth or when sitting down to a meal. I find that doing this right before I fall asleep at night and then again when I wake up and before I get out of bed in the morning is a great way to end my day and begin the next. Allow yourself to feel the feeling of the gratitude as you reflect as it’s this felt quality of gratitude that floods your brain and heart with that elevated emotion. Daily practice of this feeling state along with your gratitude reflections will start to rewire your brain to be naturally more happy and grateful in less than three months. Happy practicing and best wishes to you all for a joyous and gratitude filled Thanksgiving week, Coach Augusta ________________________________________________________________________________ References: Sansone, R. A., & Sansone, L. A. (2010). Gratitude and well being: The benefits of appreciation. Psychiatry, 7(11), 18–24 Zahn R., Garrido G., Moll J., Grafman J. (2014). Individual differences in posterior cortical volume correlate with proneness to pride and gratitude. Soc. Cogn. Affect. Neurosci. 9, 1676– 1683. 10.1093/scan/nst158 Emmons R., McCullough M. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: an experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 84, 377– 389. 10.1037/0022-3514.84.2.377  What is Virtual Coaching?
Virtual Coaching means you and your Coach will meet by phone (or in some cases, Zoom or Skype) for your coaching session. 6 reasons why Virtual Coaching can be better than meeting in-person:
Making the Most of Virtual Coaching Here are some tips on how our Clients can make the most out of their virtual coaching sessions. Location matters. When deciding where to be during your coaching call, ask yourself these questions:
Use the 5-10 minutes before your call to ground yourself. The luxury of virtual coaching is that you don’t have to travel. Even if you have 5 minutes, use them to take a few deep breaths. Do a body scan to tune into how you’re feeling. You may even want to jot down some goals for the call. Write your notes. If you’re easily distracted by being on your computer, think about writing them by hand instead. Record your session. If you’re able to, use speaker phone and record the session to replay later.  “Everything You Want is on the Other Side of Fear.” – Jack Canfield As a Coach, I absolutely love working with clients around their fears. Why? Because I know that their fears and discomfort are the gateway to their growth and success. You see, fear stops us from becoming who we are truly meant to be in this world and from sharing our individual gifts and creativity with others. Fear holds us back and stops us from living the life we truly desire to live. Now, I am not talking about the kind of fear we experience when being held up by gunpoint or in a life-threatening situation. I am referring to the tendrils of fears that grip our gut and squeeze our chest when we think of going after a goal or desire, want to speak our truth to someone, or to share a new idea out loud. These sensations arise hand in hand with whispers of “you can’t do that, you will fail, or you don’t know enough” and, of course, my all time favorites “what will people think?” and “everyone will know you are a fake, an imposter.” These fears of what we imagine others will think or what we imagine will happen become self-sabotaging stories that we tell ourselves. These stories rob us of our power. They fill us with doubt, steal our self-worth, and can become self-fulfilling prophecies over time. Within them, we stay trapped and unable to step out of our comfort zone, unable to take new actions towards our true power and potential. Within them, we stay the same. You see, in order to change the results we are getting in life, in order to truly achieve the growth and success we desire, we must change the stories we tell ourselves. The first step is to become aware of them, and understand their purpose in keeping us safe and playing small. We then can practice leaning into, instead of away from, the doubts and fears they produce. We can start to see these fears as something we should navigate towards, not away from. When we practice this, we learn to move through our fears instead of being stopped by them. They become smaller, their grip in our body loosens, and we find ourselves growing and achieving. We find ourselves free of self-doubt and low self-worth. Success that seemed impossible becomes possible. When a client can speak to their fears and are ready and eager to act, to keep moving forward in spite of them, then I know we are on to something really exciting! What fears are keeping you from your dreams and desires? What opportunities would you create for yourself by facing your fears? I’d love to hear! -Coach Augusta   Fear can show itself in different forms and in different situations in life. At this moment in life I am a father of 3 children in the age range 8-11 years old. They go to school, do all kinds of activities after school and a lot of sports. The moment I became a parent I was reintroduced to fear. During the time my children growing up there were and are situations that have me feared something bad might happen. It started with their first steps, fearing that they might bump into the corner of a table. Then they started riding a bike and after getting the training wheels off there was the fear of them falling of the bike on the pavement. Currently the oldest and the middle one are totally into mountain biking and the things they do is amazing. I experienced this during biking with them on trails. I feared falling and then it happened once taking a corner. It made me aware of two things. Firstly, sometimes it is better for my mental health when I am not aware of what my kids are doing outside. Out of sight, out of mind. Secondly, I did something completely new to me and after some time into mountain biking, I loved it, being outdoors and spending quality time with my children. I went from fear to joy in half an hour. ‘Just do it’ proved itself for me again. Going through your fear might be tough and may take a while and the reward is magnificent. Besides being a father and having other roles in life I know fear as a (career) coach as well. In this case it shows itself as the fear of not getting the results client would like to get immediately, the fear of not getting the next client or the fear of talking too much instead of listening. Like the situation mentioned above I might face fear before I step into a coaching session and then coaching and going with the flow gets me to the other side. The side where I ask my client for feedback on our session and I hear things that did not come up in my picture of fear. Again, ‘Just do it’ is so right. Need help to ‘Just do it?’ Please consider setting up a 25-minute exploratory session with me. Let’s practice it together, Coach LJ   Our October theme this month at FromWithin Coaching is FEAR…sure, it is a kitschy theme based on the fact that October is the “watch every scary movie every created in the next 30-days”, but as Coaches and Career Communications’ Specialists, we face FEAR everyday with our Clients. FEAR of not being enough, FEAR of not being good enough to get their dream job, FEAR of asking for a raise, FEAR of writing their resume, FEAR of LinkedIn, FEAR of spiders (ok, so that isn’t something we coach on, but come on, spiders are NOT very fun to look at…) Because we face FEAR every day with our Clients, we remind them that FEAR has many different meanings and can have many different definitions than normally thought of when you look at FEAR as an acronym. Those acronyms include: False Evidence Appearing Real Face Everything And Rise For Everything A Reason Feeling Excited And Ready Face Everything And Recover False Expectations Appearing Real Failure Expected And Received Future Events Already Ruined Fighting Ego Against Reality False Emotions Appearing Real Forget Everything And Relax Forgetting Everything is All Right Frantic Effort to Avoid Reality What you see from this list is that FEAR is often what you make it. Or don’t make it. In doing research for this blog post, I came across Dr. Pamela D. Garcy’s article on her use of the The F-E-A-R System to help her clients work through their FEAR. The F-E-A-R System she uses stands for Focus, Expose, Approach, Rehearse. F = Focus instead of freaking out E = Expose instead of escape A = Approach instead of avoid R = Rehearse a lot What she is suggesting is lean into the FEAR because often, what we think is going to happen (or is happening) is FAR from what reality is. It would not be a proper blog post on FEAR for me to write if I didn’t include one of my favorite quotes/stories on FEAR that Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love wrote in her book on writing, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. “I even have a welcoming speech prepared for fear, which I deliver right before embarking upon any new project or big adventure. It goes something like this: “Dearest Fear: Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together. I understand you’ll be joining us, because you always do. I acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do in my life, and that you take your job seriously. Apparently, your job is to induce complete panic whenever I’m about to do anything interesting—and, may I say, you are superb at your job. So, by all means, keep doing your job, if you feel you must. But I will also be doing my job on this road trip, which is to work hard and stay focused. And Creativity will be doing its job, which is to remain stimulating and inspiring. There’s plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, so make yourself at home, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way. I recognize and respect that you are part of this family, and so I will never exclude you from our activities, but still—your suggestions will never be followed. You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote. You’re not allowed to touch the road maps; you’re not allowed to suggest detours; you’re not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you’re not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, my dear old familiar friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive.” I invite you today to respect the FEAR that arises today in your life…but don’t allow it to drive you. Not scared, Coach Amy   I’m sorry I’m late. I’m sorry I have been so needy lately. I’m sorry to ask for another favor. I’m sorry I made a mistake. I’m sorry I can’t make it tonight. I’m sorry I’ve been so emotional. And my favorite, “I am sorry for being in the way”, often said as you wander down the grocery store aisle. Why are we apologizing for walking down an aisle? Is it because we may be getting in the way of the person who is considering the box of Pho Xao or Pad Thai (what is the difference anyway?) and you might be blocking their view for the split second you walk between them and the boxed rice noodles? Or is it because you are unintentionally apologizing for “being”? Either way, I appreciate a bit of kindness…trust me, I am the first to extend a hand to someone, open a door, or give up my seat in a waiting room for someone in more need than me. But by saying “I am sorry” for something that I am really not sorry about, am I disempowering myself? Are we being too kind to others, taking away our own chance to be kind to ourselves? How many times do YOU think YOU say “I am sorry” in a day? Take a wild guess? According to a great new survey from Express.co.uk, they found that the average person apologizes approximately 2,920 times every year. That means, eight “I’m sorrys” every single day, that’s 56 apologizes every week and that’s somewhere around 250,000 apologies in a lifetime. There’s more. The survey also found that about one in eight people apologize at least 20 times a day. And, 43% of people admit that they regularly apologize when other people do something wrong to them like someone bumps you on the sidewalk and even though it clearly wasn’t your fault, you say “I’m sorry.” What are you really saying when you say “I’m sorry”? On the surface, “I’m sorry,” may sound like an apology, but I wonder if it may actually be disguising other feelings. For example, the person who apologizes routinely and reflexively when no real offense has occurred, because they believe that they have burdened someone, which is a feeling they have difficulty tolerating. Frequently heard examples of this are “I’m sorry, but I need to use your bathroom,” or, “Sorry, do you know what time it is?” Another example of “I’m sorry” may be used to give the apologizing person permission to say or do something that he or she believes might be objectionable to another, but to be able to do it anyway. Somehow, it seems, saying “I’m sorry” softens the blow or reduces the likelihood of consequences. But for me, what it seems to do is “lessen” our actions…common actions that don’t actually need “Sorry” as the start of the sentence. How much of an objection is to ask someone the time? I mean, really? The time? It is not like you are saying, “I’m sorry, although I would like to know the time, can you actually give me your Shinola watch?” But you aren’t asking for their watch…you are asking for the time. Time is free. Their Shinola watch is not. So why are you sorry for asking for something simple like the time? As a Coach, I hear “sorry” more than I hear any other word from my clients. I am hyper vigilant when it comes to that word, because I truly believe it gives me a sense of what my Client’s self-esteem is like. The more often, the less self-esteem. And I wonder how that shows up in their professional work during work meetings, during interviews, or during conversations with their managers. By saying “sorry” when they have nothing to actually be sorry about, is it annoying as well? Annoying or not, I am a firm believer that it is doing harm to one’s confidence and ability to “own” who they are. Ultimately affecting their professionalism at work. Are we lessening the impact of future apologies? Another insight is that by “over sorry-ing”, we may actually be NOT be saying sorry when we really should or when we do, people don’t feel the impact of a “real sorry.” Is saying sorry like willpower where we only have so many and we run out, misusing our “sorrys” on things we don’t have to be sorry about? When we say “I’m sorry” all the time, when do those around us actually know when we are generally sorry for something? Is it a bit like the boy calling wolf? When you mean it, they might think it is you saying “I’m sorry” reactively again. And it lessens the actual apology. Sorry…I am not sorry. Demi Lovato can all teach us something – stop apologizing so much about things you didn’t do that you seem to think requires an apology! So, what can we say instead of sorry next time? How about: I’m sorry I’m late. Thank you for waiting on me. I’m sorry I have been so needy lately. Thank you for being there for me. I’m sorry to ask for another favor. Thank you for helping me out. I’m sorry I made a mistake. Thank you for pointing out my mistake. I’m sorry I can’t make it tonight. Thank you for inviting me. I’m sorry I’ve been so emotional. Thank you for loving me. I’m sorry for being in the way. Good luck choosing your dinner! I’d go with the Pad Thai. What does it take to stop “over sorry-ing”? Awareness. No need to say “sorry, I’m saying sorry…” every time you say sorry. Just be aware of what you are saying and that’s enough. And soon enough, what you really want to say will start to come more naturally than your “sorry” reflex. FYI – I said sorry 51 times in this blog post. Not sorry, AM   FromWithin Coaching’s very own Certified Life Coach Augusta Good Krahl understands the cost of inner conflict – both personally and professionally as she works with her coaching clients. In my own experience in working with Coach Augusta, I have learned that it isn’t just important to become aware of the inner conflict, but to then develop a plan to work through that internal obstacle. Ignore the inner conflict and you’ll stay stuck.
I couldn’t be more excited to share that Coach Augusta is offering a free event on Wednesday, August 14, at 5:30 pm on Inner Conflict at the Shelburne Athletic Club located in Shelburne, VT. Coach Augusta will identify what inner conflict you may be struggling with, the root of why you are experiencing it, and what you can do to free yourself to live a more empowered and joyful life. You will leave with new awarenesses and individual action steps that will help you move with confidence towards your professional and personal goals. Not sure if you have inner conflict? Coach Augusta often asks her clients the following questions: Do you find yourself in a constant state of worry or anxiety? Do you wake up in the middle of the night with your mind racing and unable to go back to sleep as you replay past conversations where you either didn’t speak up or say what you wanted? Are you unable to commit to others or to yourself and constantly put off and procrastinate the very things that you know are action steps towards achieving your professional or personal goals? If so, Coach Augusta suggests that you may be caught in the crosshairs of inner conflict, the battle in our mind between what we think we “should” do (our head) and what our true, essential self wants us to do (our heart, wisdom, instinct). Inner conflict is a constant back and forth of chaotic chatter that becomes a routine pattern of contradiction and negative self-talk in our mind. It keeps us stuck, playing small, and unable to grow into the life we desire. The crazy thing is, we may not even be conscious or aware that this inner battle is going on but instead experience it as feelings of unease, exhaustion, or chronic stomach and back pain. Inner conflict results in us being distracted and preoccupied at work and at home. We are unable to truly be present in conversations with our children and parters or when spending time with friends when our minds are swirling and distracted. What causes this mental turmoil and how can we learn to quiet it and to move forward confidently in life with an assured and peaceful mind? Ready to find out how to dive deeper into your own personal inner conflict in order to understand, and make the changes you seek? See you on the 14th! To register, please email Augusta at augusta@fromwithincoaching.com. Augusta Good Krahl, MS, ACC The Wellness Center at the Shelburne Athletic Club 144 Wellness Drive Shelburne, VT 05482 See you all there! Professional Responsibility is YOUR Responsibility: stop waiting for your employer to help you grow!6/4/2019
You’ve finished your degree. Check. You’ve completed all your practical experience requirements so that you can graduate. Check. Your new job is all lined up and ready to go. Mission accomplished. It’s fair to say the first part of your mission is well and truly accomplished. Sit back and give yourself a pat on the back. But don’t take too long about it or you’ll be lagging behind your colleagues. The same is true for professionals with many years’ experience in the workplace. YOU were behind your ability to get through school ad land that job, so don’t give up being a part of your continued education (aka Professional Development). Continuing Professional Development is important because it ensures you continue to be competent in your profession. It is an ongoing process and continues throughout a professional’s career. And it is NOT your just your company’s responsibility to help you grow. Wonderful if they are there to support you, but don’t wait for them to be the only way to develop professionally. If you find yourself in an organization that has punted on their responsibility to train and develop future leaders, then my question for you is simple: What are you going to do about it? I heard something recently that doing nothing in this incredible time of innovation is like actually taking steps backwards, there is no time to sit still and let things “pass you by.” Will you simply skate by, sliding back into your chair to become one of the nearly 70% of Americans who are disengaged at work? Good luck to you because you most likely will stop reading the blog post here. But if you are still reading, it means you aren’t willing to just accept whether or not your employer invests in you…you are willing to invest in yourself. Go you! What constitutes professional development? When people use the term “professional development,” they usually mean a formal process such as a conference, seminar, or workshop; collaborative learning among members of a work team; or a course at a college or university. However, professional development can also occur in informal contexts such as discussions among work colleagues, independent reading and research, observations of a colleague’s work, or other learning from a peer. No matter the kind of Professional Development opportunities you create for yourself, I believe there needs to be four critical components to a successful Professional Development Plan. Without them, you just have a wish, not a plan. 4 Critical Components of an Effective Professional Development Plan: Your Why (Motivation) Why do you want to grow and expand professionally? And the answer shouldn’t just be to “go higher in a company’s ladder” or to “earn more money” – sure that are great goals, but they aren’t “powerful” enough to be sustainable. Are you a natural learner and miss learning? Good reason to develop a Professional Development plan. You’ll enjoy it, and hence, actually stick to it. Or perhaps you want to be known as a thought leader in your organization and that acknowledgement is a powerful motivator for you. Know your “why” and build the plan from there. Assessment There is an established standard of success to describe what an individual who is successful looks like. There is a means of assessing where the individual is against this standard and continual assessment of progress that has been made. What are the standards against which you assess performance and what measures will you use to assess the individual against these standards? Or said another way, when you create your Professional Development plan, how can you assess your success? Challenge It must be something that stretches people, pushes you out of your comfort zone, and requires you to think and act differently. Stretch those growth muscles and ask yourself, “what would be fun to try, but also something that I need to put effort into?” Support We tend to think only of monetary support, but what are the environmental support mechanisms are just as important. Who will provide guidance, feedback, and assistance as you try out new skills, or takes on responsibilities that are beyond the scope of what you know? Not sure where to start in terms of your Professional Development plan or how to assess its success? Reach out to one of our Professional Development Coaches and let’s explore with you what that might look like! Call us for a complimentary exploratory session to help you get started! Cheers, Coach Amy  |
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