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“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” ~Anais Nin The beginning of a new year represents a time of hope, a time for fresh starts, new goals and new connections to self and others. I find it perfect that the beginning of a new calendar year happens in winter, the season that calls for us to turn inward for reflection, self-acceptance, and self-growth. This nurturing energy of winter supports the opportunities a new year brings and invites us to be intentional and take stock of the previous year, to acknowledge any successes, reflect on what worked and what didn’t work, and to be honest about using this information to build upon and purposefully move forward into the new year with clear goals and visions for ourselves. Today, as I look to 2019 and to the continued self and professional work that I am committing to, I am deciding to chose a word to frame my year ahead. This word will embody the character of who I want to be and who I need to become in the upcoming year as I strive to make positive changes in my personal and professional life. This word will be the lens through which I focus my intentions and develop my vision, goals, and action steps for the year. My word for 2019 is COURAGE. Courage is a word often used to describe heroes or those who commit a heroic act in the face of grave or life threatening danger. These true heroes are indeed, courageous. However, the courage I am speaking of lives more on a spiritual plane, embodied in the heart and not always seen or recognized by others. This type of courage defines the small, daily acts that one takes to discover, honor, and live in alignment with their true selves. It’s in the ability to live with uncertainty and take action nonetheless, to understand that outcomes are not guaranteed and yet to trust and love what shows up. It’s in the decision to live a created life, a life on purpose and by design instead of a allowing a life of default and chance. As a Life and Wellness Coach, I have the honor to work with clients who show me this type of courage every day as they dive deeply within themselves to sit with, untangle, and reframe their insecurities and fears in order to move past them and achieve real success with their personal and professional goals. They model courage to me in their decisions to end dysfunctional relationships, overcome old patterns of self-sabotage, take risks and speak their truths for the first time or try new behaviors that are more aligned with their health and wellness goals. Courage is what paves the journey of many who begin the allowing of feelings, all feelings both painful and joyful. The greatest courage I often see is in the desire and determination of parents I work with to end dysfunctional familial patterns of fear, shame, or anxiety so that their children grow with confidence and a sense of self-worth and safety. This deep inner work can be messy, uncomfortable, and often times downright scary. It is, however, powerful, liberating and absolutely life-changing. It is work that I am daily committed to because as a Life Coach, I cannot take my clients any deeper than I have gone within myself. This work of personal growth and evolution is essential to me in my life. One of my favorite quotes by Margaret Young states “You first must BE who you really ARE in order to DO the things that will get you what you really WANT.” This being who we really are is all about the work of cultivating profound inner belonging and navigating from a place of internal validation, of knowing our self-worth and self-value instead of looking to others for approval or acceptance. It’s about listening to and honoring our inner guidance and inner wisdom and making decisions based on true self-knowing. It’s about working through the swirling thoughts and gripping sensations of fear in order to make daily decisions to lean into the discomfort and uncertainty of new growth territories instead of avoiding them by numbing with substances, food, busyness, care taking, or any of the other myriad of ways we numb to avoid. These small daily decisions of becoming take courage as we step out of our comfort zones. We absolutely do not grow inside of our comfort zones and by choosing to lean in and live at it’s edge, we push it out bit by bit. Actions that once took courage to do are soon done with ease and confidence and we can then lean in and find our edge again and continue growing and achieving. So, yeah, courage. It’s my word for 2019. It both challenges and excites me. What about you? How can you invite courage into your goals and dreams for 2019? What courageous boundary can you initiate within yourself or with others that will ignite a flicker of self-pride and have you standing a bit taller? What quiet moments can you weave into your busy day that can provide the space for even a fleeting presence of courage to step in and take root? Comment below or find me on Facebook to share how you can see courage playing a role in your life for 2019 or to share a different word that you come up with for yourself. I would love to hear! -Coach Augusta  It is normal this time of the year for my clients to ask what I think about New Year’s Resolutions. In fact, it happened just today. For those that know me well, they know that I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions (well, I did once, it was that I was never going to make another New Year’s Resolution ever again.) But this time of the year, we celebrate not only the new year ahead, but how we want to move into it differently from the year before. I’d like to suggest something I have been playing with for years instead of New Year’s Resolutions…I write two reflection pieces – one that is designed for me to reflect on what I learned during the prior year and one that helps me decide what to leave behind in the old year. I’ll unpack each in case you are interested in trying these reflections out instead of resolutions… The first – the “learning” reflection – is one that I have done now for ten years….it helps me catalog, inventory, and noodle over what the last year has brought to me in terms of lessons. As many of you have heard me say, failure is not the opposite of success, but instead lessons are. We have much to learn when life doesn’t go as planned…sure, these lessons are un-gift-wrapped messes on the outside but they are gems of wisdom when we open them up and truly look at them. So, my lesson list for 2018 is one that I will share both the lessons learned, positive and negative ones. An example of each is that I learned I enjoy Ethiopian food. An amazing restaurant offers a monthly meal of Ethiopian delights, and I learned two months ago that I thoroughly enjoy the flavors and the textures of that region’s food. So it isn’t just that I learned I like Ethiopian, but it was also a reminder that there is still food out there in the world I have not tasted in the last 46-years of my life to discover…what a gift. As for the un-wrapped, messier gifts? I learned that I still have a tendency to over extend my time to others at the detriment of my own time. As an Obliger, I know that I put everyone else ahead of me, but for some reason this year, I made it an art form. Time, money, energy, emotion…I put everyone else’s in front of my own. And I burned out a bit. But thanks to some dear friends who helped me wake up from my Obliger Coma, I am starting to learn how to be both an Obliger and someone who is comfortable putting up boundaries higher than before. Both lessons, Ethiopian and Obliger tendencies, helped me see that even the Coach can still learn and grow… Now, onto the “leaving” reflection. Here is a great example of what I am going to leave behind in 2018 from my Obliger admittance. I am going to leave behind the behavior pattern that everyone comes before me and instead, choose who I put ahead of me in terms of my own self-love, attention, and healing. Because Amy Magyar is as important as those I support. And in fact, if I don’t support myself, I can’t support those around me that I love dearly. The “leaving behind” reflection helps us see what we don’t want to bring with us into the new year and reminds us that we do have a choice between what we will and won’t bring with us. Empowering for me to say the least. I hope for you as well. My learning and leaving reflections are usually a total of a page of handwritten scribble, however, this year, it might be two full pages with no white space in the margin. But I don’t think that is a bad thing. I don’t feel sorry for myself that there are more things for me to leave in the old year – it just means I am that much smarter…and by leaving them, lighter, in both body and mind. Not sure what you learned in 2018? Not sure what you want to leave in 2018? Reach out to us and book an exploratory session with us – I have no doubt our team can help you make 2019 an incredible learning year! And on a final note, thank you to all of our wonderful clients and organizations that we work with. Each one of you brings incredible wisdom to us and it is an honor to watch you grow! And to my team of Coaches and Writers, thank you for all of the wisdom you bring to our Clients! Learning and Leaving, Coach Amy  I recently had the opportunity to support a close friend as she struggled with a challenging business decision. She wasn’t a client; she came to me for advice in making the right choice for the next step with her business. I couldn’t help myself; the coach in me came right out. We crunched the numbers, we strategized, we played with the best and worst case scenarios, we imagined the “what ifs?” We talked about what was scary, what was exhilarating, what was challenging, what was a “no brainer.” Most importantly, we spent many hours ensuring this change in business direction effectively contributed to her long-term personal and professional goals. It wasn’t easy; there were many times she looked at me and said, “I don’t know if I can do this.” There were too many moving parts, too many details that seemed overwhelming as we talked them through, too many times she said, “Aw, I’ll figure that out later.” I sat with her as she called back her business stakeholders, picking their brains to gather more data, collect more ideas, and weave new strategies into her thinking. Excel spreadsheets covered our laptops; flip chart sheets littered the floor. Time was ticking; she had to make a choice, commit to a new direction or stay “as is.” I suggested we push away from the decision table and take a breath. We began to explore the optimal question: what does it look like to have “no regrets?” Heading in a new direction often takes courage and some would view it as risk-taking, but at the end of the day, isn’t it better to live a life with no regrets rather than wallowing in the “would of,” “should of,” “could of’s” of our decisions? That was the catalyst; just by asking the question, “Do you want to live your life with any regrets?” she was able to spring into action, squaring her shoulders and declaring a definitive “Yes!” to the new opportunity. Navigating these activities with my friend was triggering something in the back of my mind; I, too, many years ago, had been faced with a similar dilemma. I was newly married, living in Yosemite National Park, working my way up the government jobs career ladder. So was my husband. He finally got the call…a promotion to a national park in South Florida. South Florida? Who the heck wants to live in South Florida? We agonized over the pros and cons: I would be hunting for a job, we would be swatting mosquitos and dealing with extreme humidity, we would be able to buy our first house, we already had a few friends in the area, we’d be closer to our east coast-based families, we’d learn to scuba dive, etc. But, Homestead, Florida after Yosemite National Park? It was a lot to swallow. After a few nights of “spirited” discussions, he took the job and we made the move. Looking back on the decision now, I realize we applied the “No regrets” thinking. Stay in Yosemite and watch the promotion go to someone else or take a shot at something new and different. While this was many years ago, it was still the same path of gathering data, evaluating the ups and downs, and making a decision we would not regret (to be honest, I ended up falling in love with Everglades National Park where I was able to continue my Park Service career). As an Executive and Career coach at FromWithinCoaching, I go through a very similar process with my clients. By asking the right questions, the people I work with eventually look themselves in the mirror and ask themselves how they can live their personal and professional lives with “no regrets.” That being said, it’s not easy finding a new job, changing industries, maneuvering through a challenging conversation, or being honest with oneself about having outgrown a role; it can be a lonely and overwhelming spot. But we only take this trip around the sun once – make sure it’s a regret-free adventure. Are you feeling stuck in the “regrets” zone? An exploratory session might be just the thing to get you out of a rut. You can read more about me and book your session below. I’d be honored to help. -Coach Lu Setnicka  |
AuthorThe authors of these blogs include incredible Coaches and Writers at FromWithin Coaching who are inspired to share their thoughts, ideas, comments, and possibilities with YOU, the reader. Archives
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