Hey Fellow Coaches (and emerging Coaches), Feeling like, even after going through a full coaching school program, you may still be having feelings of Imposter Syndrome around your own coaching ability? Ready to gain some powerful tools/actionable techniques that will help you fill the gap between your school teachings and the actual practice of coaching? Kicking my own Imposter Syndrome to the curb, I am ecstatic to announce a 4-part coaching class starting in September I will be offering through Zoom. The class is designed to share the REAL tools of coaching that they don't teach you in coaching school. And help YOU kick YOUR Imposter Syndrome to the curb knowing that you are actually READY to coach. Not a Coach? Worth joining us if you are considering becoming a Coach or if you are looking for tips for a Coach-Like-Approach as a Leader. For more information or to register, which is what I am really hoping you do, head to: https://fromwithincoaching.com/what-they-didnt-teach-you-in-coaching-school.html Today I woke up with more excitement and toothpaste in my mouth than fear. How about you? -Coach Amy ICF PCC Mentor Coach Where Can We Take Back Control? Reflections from Coach LJ Nieulant In these tumultuous times it may seem that your life is out of control. Whether you are without a job, furloughed or working, a lot of things came to a halt very abruptly. Work and life have changed; routines and schedules changed. We need to adapt. For my wife, three children, and me, we had to adjust to a new routine which we changed several times before we found a schedule and routine that benefits us all. This is where you can take back control in your life: decide what to do and what to avoid or leave for what it is. I am not able to develop a cure for the virus; I am not a scientist. I am able though to be of help and service to others in my community. Please take a moment to reflect on your current life. How are you doing, how is your family doing, and how are your friends and neighbours doing? Journal about your situation and see where you might need to make adjustments. What is it that you can do to regain some control in your life? Build a new routine; take it one step at a time. Adjust as necessary. Identify adaptations that benefit you and your loved ones. You might want to add a new activity to your routine. For instance, my wife and I walk our dog at the end of the day for an hour to discuss the day’s events. It benefits us although our dog thinks it is a little too much to be walked for the 7th time. An addition to your routine could be to reflect on your career so far. What did it bring and what are you missing in your career? Would you like to take a different route in the future? This may be a good time to prepare for that journey. Think about the things that brought you joy and what you would like to continue. What activities wore you out, which ones do you want to get rid of? Make a list of your Strengths, which ones bring a smile to your face? Make an inventory of your weaknesses and leave those for what they are. They are not working for you or with you so maybe take this opportunity to throw them out of the window and only focus on your Strengths. Ready to focus on your Strengths and take back control? Let's connect! - Coach LJ Nieulant Quick Follow Up to Coach LJ's Thoughts on Control I spoke to a Client today and all I could hear was his fear of trying something new
for his business that he had never done before, but that was a necessity to survive through this time of chaos. The fear vibrated through his voice. Even though the knew he needed to take this step in his business to survive this crisis, he was more scared of taking action than losing his business. What was he fearful of? Fear of not being enough. Fear of being an imposter. Fear of not being perfect. Fear of old stories that are keeping him back from finding his truth. Well folks, I have never lived through a more fearful time than now, March 2020. So I wonder...for all of us, if we are going to survive this pandemic physically, mentally, and economically, we need to let go. We need to become losers and lose everything. Said another way, we need to lose in order to win. We need to lose our fear. We need to lose the belief that we are not enough. We need to lose the idea of perfection. We need to let go of the old stories keeping us from doing what we want. And what we need to do, to survive. Be a loser to be a winner. Be safe, be brave, be hopeful. -AM The "C-Word" (aka Corona Virus) that we have heard has taken on a more intense meaning in the last week. The word is creating fear and panic. People are isolating. But we at FromWithin Coaching challenge you, in order to “insulate” vs the “isolate”, to use differnt words that start with C that are going to be more helpful in getting us through this uncertain time. What are other the “C-Words” we encourage you to say and DO more? Community Connection Certainty Compassion Conviction Commitment Cause Contribute Care Cleverness Consciousness Create Co-Create Calm Curious Capable Can-do Champion Celebrate Confirm Current Courtesy Courage Choice Continue Cooperate Capable Civility Competence Conversation Chance Cohesion Contemplative Contribute Center Character Contribute Continuity Closeness Climb Creative Clarity Choose Cookies (not kidding, they are helpful) And finally, Coach. Your job is to be you and practice saying (and doing) these “C-Words” more than the other c-word. Folks - the world is changing quickly.
FromWithin Coaching is going to be here to help you make sense of the chaos happening in the world right now. And help us as well as we are human beings and nervous as well. We are a community for each other...stay posted as we share ideas of "insulating" yourself from the chaos, not isolating. -Amy Magyar, Owner of FromWithin Coaching and Human Being as nervous as anyone else, but dedicated to helping us all find solace during these times. A friend of mine sent me a photo of a sunset this past week - it has been an incredibly unprecedented week in our lifetime and the sunset he sent was almost a way to "seal" the day and the crazy week - it was exactly what I needed... I replied back to his text with the photo above - the sunset from Lake Champlain here in Vermont. His text reply back was simple - "challenge accepted." And like that, we started a daily ritual of sending sunsets to each other at the end of the day... The reason I mention sunset ritual is to challenge YOU in doing something like this to help you manage the unease and anxiety many are reporting feeling. For me, I am connected at least once a day to something I can be grateful for. And to someone I care for. Although with social distancing, I have chosen not to see this "sunset friend" in person, I still get to interact with him daily...and get a dose of sunset each evening. So consider doing something that can become a ritual to stay connected with your community, or a loved one - maybe the ritual lasts for a few weeks, or a few months as they are forecasting our need to social distance. But I think a ritual like this for me, is one I hope I can keep for a lifetime with my friend. One last thing on this Sunday, we have no idea what next week is going to bring us...but a suggestion one of our Coaches, Alexandra Hughes shared with me to help prep for the week is, like screen time, to stop listening or watching anything in regards to the Corona Virus at least two hours before bedtime. It will give your brain (and heart) a chance to stop the information download and perhaps allow you to process the day. And perhaps think about a sunset... FromWithin Coaching will be here to send you thoughts, ideas, and suggestions to make your week "easier." It is something that we hope helps you, but also, selfishly, helps us... - Amy Magyar, Owner of FromWithin Coaching and believer in the power of sunsets. Finding Insulation without Isolation in the Viral Age -Blog Post by Jane Taylor, working from home since 1997. Working remotely and social distancing are acts of self-care. They are also part of our social contract. In order to get through the uncertainty brought about by Corona, we must work together and stay apart. But this insulation need not be isolating. With vigilance and care, we can keep our personal and business connections strong even as we keep our distance. The verb insulate, means "protect from heat, cold, or noise," like when you add an extra layer of clothing to insulate yourself from the cold. You can insulate a wall to keep sound out, or insulate your house to keep cold air from getting inside. So, to insulate is to protect against unwanted changes.”[1] In the era of the C-Word (Covid-19), self-quarantine and social distancing are the types of insulation recommended by the CDC and other health officials. This recommendation is backed by empirical data. In 1918, a flu epidemic killed 20-50 million people globally. There was no cure. Symptoms were managed with improvised home remedies. The first official preventive measures included “the closure of public meeting places, such as theaters, and the suspension of public meetings. In addition, long church sermons were prohibited, and Sunday instruction was to last no more than five minutes.”[2] Taking it further back to the plague outbreak in Florence in 1348, officials also recommended social isolation. However, Italian theologians advocated that people “beware of fear, anger, sadness, excessive anguish, heavy thoughts and similar things. And equally one should take care to be able to be joyful, to be happy, to listen to lullabies, stories and melodies.” Several plague advice books hit the newsstands in the 14th Century including Giovanni Boccaccio’s The Decameron (a collection of amusing and racy bedtime stories meant to keep spirits high) which instructed citizens on how to maintain mental wellbeing in times of epidemics and isolation. “Boccaccio also understood the crucial role of what we now call social networks in public health crises.”[3] As we ‘protect against unwanted changes’ and move our offices and classrooms to online locations, our need for human connection grows almost in proportion to viral spread. And yet, our current public health crisis is exacerbated by a crisis of disconnection in society. In other words, loneliness is also killing us. Working remotely will only make the disconnection worse unless we actively counter it with meaningful connection. We need stories, connection, and a sense of belonging to keep us human. Psychology Today tells us that, “Being alone can result in negative reactions related to loneliness (e.g., sadness, hopelessness) or it can have positive reactions related to solitude (e.g., spiritual and creative growth, restoring one’s health and energy).”[4] With diligence and the aid of technology, we have the power to choose our reaction. Here are some of our favorite tips on mitigating loneliness and staying connected (staying connected will also bolster productivity) as we work remotely: Schedule Face-to-Face Time Non-verbal communication is a huge part of communication. As a very transparent eye-roller, I relish the insulation email and text offer, but also appreciate seeing the faces of my friends and colleagues. Schedule regular online meetings and video chats. Be Proactive About Scheduling Make time to make time with your boss, your colleagues, your direct reports, your friends. A meeting request shows not only that you care, but also that you are on the ball. Schedule both one-on-one and team phone conversations and video chats. Don’t Forget the Niceties of Chit Chat In email and in video chats, human connection is…well… dependent upon connecting as humans. Before getting right to the meat of the business matter at hand, engage in authentic personal communication. You need not reveal all, but some light conversation about your well-being and your concern for the well-being of others will bolster that well-being. A rising tide lifts all ships… Work When Your Colleagues Work Be available and respond quickly. Use LinkedIn LinkedIn is a business networking platform. Use it. While the cute pit bull videos on Facebook are heartwarming, the amount of disinformation, divisiveness, and distraction that social media channel foments is counterproductive to your work and counter indicated to true human connection. The comparison Facebook enables and encourages (i.e., my tropical vacation is more luscious than your tropical vacation) robs us of joy, makes us feel small and undervalued, and creates further disconnection. LinkedIn, on the hand, is more about sharing business ideas and innovations. Make sure your LinkedIn profile is up to date and use it. As the stock market crashes, the NBA cancels its season, and your favorite yoga studio closes its doors, it is certainly getting harder to eschew “fear, anger, sadness, excessive anguish, heavy thoughts and similar things.” But staying connected helps. By controlling the things we actually can control, we gain agency. It is not naively or unreasonably optimistic, it’s part of our evolution. -Jane Taylor, working from home since 1997. [1] https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/insulate [2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6477554/ [3] https://www.newstatesman.com/2020/03/coronavirus-survive-italy-wellbeing-stories-decameron [4] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-nourishment/201612/why-we-need-each-other Thank you Jane Taylor for another timely blog post.
Folks - the world is changing quickly. FromWithin Coaching is going to be here to help you make sense of the chaos happening in the world right now. And help us as well as we are human beings and nervous as well. We are a community for each other...stay posted as we share ideas of "insulating" yourself from the chaos, not isolating. -Amy Magyar, Owner of FromWithin Coaching and Human Being as nervous as anyone else, but dedicated to help us all find solace during these times. Working from Home: Setting Up Business When Virtual goes Viral -Blog Post by Jane Taylor, working from home since 1997. Corona is the new C-Word. If it has not already affected you professionally, it soon will. As we face unprecedented uncertainty in the marketplace, in the office, and in our careers, we will have to dig deep FromWithin. It feels like we are being tested, but whether as an act of self-quarantine or as simple self-advocacy, many of us are going to have to work remotely. “The coronavirus is putting remote work to a gigantic test, and at a totally unprecedented scale. Throughout China, Italy, Japan and South Korea, workers have been on lockdown.”[1] Universities are moving to remote methods of learning; we and our clients are preparing for that inevitability. Much of our work is already engaged remotely, we’ve got years of experience to share. As you join the ranks of newly remote workers and learn to practice social distancing, you’ll want to stay connected. In this series on working remotely in the Viral Age we will touch on keeping the human connection we need without touching any germs or extensive handwashing and examine ways to:
Let’s start with your virtual office. Working remotely can be extremely productive when you set yourself up for success. Here are our favorite tips: Time Stick to your work schedule. Work when you would normally be working. Use your morning commute time to get some exercise or walk the dog. Use your evening commute time to organize your accomplishments for tomorrow. End your workday at a reasonable hour. Professionalism Dress for work. You may be tempted to work in your pajamas, but such garb inspires a certain laissez-faire unprofessionalism. Take a shower, shave, get dressed. Go to work. Workspace Make a clean and organized workspace. It need not be large; let it not be chaotic. Set up a dedicated work environment. Do not eat at your desk. Distractions Your home is filled with your life distractions. Your garage needs sorting, your laundry needs washing, your motorcycle needs riding, Fido needs walking. Commit to your work before letting yourself be distracted. Whether that means fully completing a project or dedicating 90 minutes to it without diversions, make the commitment. Stick to it. Set a timer, if you need to. Your garage can wait. Communicate Working from home can create freedom, but it can also create discord. Your team is no longer one desk away; make sure communication with them is open, frequent, and clear. Make your expectations known. Make your accomplishments known. Use common courtesy and good manners. If you fear your message could be misconstrued, it probably will be. Take time for clarity: read your messages out loud before sending. Let your team, colleagues, clients know when you will be available. Be available at the time. Insulate yourself from Corona without isolating yourself from creativity Working remotely can be lonely. Steve Jobs was a famous opponent of remote work, claiming that “Creativity comes from spontaneous meetings, from random discussions.”[2] But spontaneous creativity can also happen by text. Your closest collaborators are only as far away as your phone. Keep your channels of communication open. Schedule and keep regular Zoom, Skype, or FaceTime meetings with your colleagues. Necessity is the mother of invention. With time, exploration, and practice, working remotely can become as creative and rewarding as working at the office. _______________________________________________________________________________ [1] https://www.npr.org/2020/03/09/812898220/laundry-between-emails-working-from-home-goes-viral-in-the-time-of-coronavirus [2] https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/10/technology/working-from-home.html Thank you Jane Taylor for this timely blog post. Folks - the world is changing quickly. FromWithin Coaching is going to be here to help you make sense of the chaos happening in the world right now. And help us as well as we are human beings and nervous as well. We are a community for each other...stay posted as we share ideas of "insulating" yourself from the chaos, not isolating. -Amy Magyar, Owner of FromWithin Coaching and Human Being as nervous as anyone else, but dedicated to help us all find solace during these times. “Everything You Want is on the Other Side of Fear.” – Jack Canfield As a Coach, I absolutely love working with clients around their fears. Why? Because I know that their fears and discomfort are the gateway to their growth and success.
You see, fear stops us from becoming who we are truly meant to be in this world and from sharing our individual gifts and creativity with others. Fear holds us back and stops us from living the life we truly desire to live. Now, I am not talking about the kind of fear we experience when being held up by gunpoint or in a life-threatening situation. I am referring to the tendrils of fears that grip our gut and squeeze our chest when we think of going after a goal or desire, want to speak our truth to someone, or to share a new idea out loud. These sensations arise hand in hand with whispers of “you can’t do that, you will fail, or you don’t know enough” and, of course, my all time favorites “what will people think?” and “everyone will know you are a fake, an imposter.” These fears of what we imagine others will think or what we imagine will happen become self-sabotaging stories that we tell ourselves. These stories rob us of our power. They fill us with doubt, steal our self-worth, and can become self-fulfilling prophecies over time. Within them, we stay trapped and unable to step out of our comfort zone, unable to take new actions towards our true power and potential. Within them, we stay the same. You see, in order to change the results we are getting in life, in order to truly achieve the growth and success we desire, we must change the stories we tell ourselves. The first step is to become aware of them, and understand their purpose in keeping us safe and playing small. We then can practice leaning into, instead of away from, the doubts and fears they produce. We can start to see these fears as something we should navigate towards, not away from. When we practice this, we learn to move through our fears instead of being stopped by them. They become smaller, their grip in our body loosens, and we find ourselves growing and achieving. We find ourselves free of self-doubt and low self-worth. Success that seemed impossible becomes possible. When a client can speak to their fears and are ready and eager to act, to keep moving forward in spite of them, then I know we are on to something really exciting! What fears are keeping you from your dreams and desires? What opportunities would you create for yourself by facing your fears? I’d love to hear! -Coach Augusta Our October theme this month at FromWithin Coaching is FEAR…sure, it is a kitschy theme based on the fact that October is the “watch every scary movie every created in the next 30-days”, but as Coaches and Career Communications’ Specialists, we face FEAR everyday with our Clients. FEAR of not being enough, FEAR of not being good enough to get their dream job, FEAR of asking for a raise, FEAR of writing their resume, FEAR of LinkedIn, FEAR of spiders (ok, so that isn’t something we coach on, but come on, spiders are NOT very fun to look at…)
Because we face FEAR every day with our Clients, we remind them that FEAR has many different meanings and can have many different definitions than normally thought of when you look at FEAR as an acronym. Those acronyms include: False Evidence Appearing Real Face Everything And Rise For Everything A Reason Feeling Excited And Ready Face Everything And Recover False Expectations Appearing Real Failure Expected And Received Future Events Already Ruined Fighting Ego Against Reality False Emotions Appearing Real Forget Everything And Relax Forgetting Everything is All Right Frantic Effort to Avoid Reality What you see from this list is that FEAR is often what you make it. Or don’t make it. In doing research for this blog post, I came across Dr. Pamela D. Garcy’s article on her use of the The F-E-A-R System to help her clients work through their FEAR. The F-E-A-R System she uses stands for Focus, Expose, Approach, Rehearse. F = Focus instead of freaking out E = Expose instead of escape A = Approach instead of avoid R = Rehearse a lot What she is suggesting is lean into the FEAR because often, what we think is going to happen (or is happening) is FAR from what reality is. It would not be a proper blog post on FEAR for me to write if I didn’t include one of my favorite quotes/stories on FEAR that Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love wrote in her book on writing, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. “I even have a welcoming speech prepared for fear, which I deliver right before embarking upon any new project or big adventure. It goes something like this: “Dearest Fear: Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together. I understand you’ll be joining us, because you always do. I acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do in my life, and that you take your job seriously. Apparently, your job is to induce complete panic whenever I’m about to do anything interesting—and, may I say, you are superb at your job. So, by all means, keep doing your job, if you feel you must. But I will also be doing my job on this road trip, which is to work hard and stay focused. And Creativity will be doing its job, which is to remain stimulating and inspiring. There’s plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, so make yourself at home, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way. I recognize and respect that you are part of this family, and so I will never exclude you from our activities, but still—your suggestions will never be followed. You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote. You’re not allowed to touch the road maps; you’re not allowed to suggest detours; you’re not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you’re not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, my dear old familiar friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive.” I invite you today to respect the FEAR that arises today in your life…but don’t allow it to drive you. Not scared, Coach Amy |
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