I recently had the opportunity to support a close friend as she struggled with a challenging business decision. She wasn’t a client; she came to me for advice in making the right choice for the next step with her business. I couldn’t help myself; the coach in me came right out.
We crunched the numbers, we strategized, we played with the best and worst case scenarios, we imagined the “what ifs?” We talked about what was scary, what was exhilarating, what was challenging, what was a “no brainer.” Most importantly, we spent many hours ensuring this change in business direction effectively contributed to her long-term personal and professional goals. It wasn’t easy; there were many times she looked at me and said, “I don’t know if I can do this.” There were too many moving parts, too many details that seemed overwhelming as we talked them through, too many times she said, “Aw, I’ll figure that out later.” I sat with her as she called back her business stakeholders, picking their brains to gather more data, collect more ideas, and weave new strategies into her thinking. Excel spreadsheets covered our laptops; flip chart sheets littered the floor. Time was ticking; she had to make a choice, commit to a new direction or stay “as is.” I suggested we push away from the decision table and take a breath. We began to explore the optimal question: what does it look like to have “no regrets?” Heading in a new direction often takes courage and some would view it as risk-taking, but at the end of the day, isn’t it better to live a life with no regrets rather than wallowing in the “would of,” “should of,” “could of’s” of our decisions? That was the catalyst; just by asking the question, “Do you want to live your life with any regrets?” she was able to spring into action, squaring her shoulders and declaring a definitive “Yes!” to the new opportunity. Navigating these activities with my friend was triggering something in the back of my mind; I, too, many years ago, had been faced with a similar dilemma. I was newly married, living in Yosemite National Park, working my way up the government jobs career ladder. So was my husband. He finally got the call…a promotion to a national park in South Florida. South Florida? Who the heck wants to live in South Florida? We agonized over the pros and cons: I would be hunting for a job, we would be swatting mosquitos and dealing with extreme humidity, we would be able to buy our first house, we already had a few friends in the area, we’d be closer to our east coast-based families, we’d learn to scuba dive, etc. But, Homestead, Florida after Yosemite National Park? It was a lot to swallow. After a few nights of “spirited” discussions, he took the job and we made the move. Looking back on the decision now, I realize we applied the “No regrets” thinking. Stay in Yosemite and watch the promotion go to someone else or take a shot at something new and different. While this was many years ago, it was still the same path of gathering data, evaluating the ups and downs, and making a decision we would not regret (to be honest, I ended up falling in love with Everglades National Park where I was able to continue my Park Service career). As an Executive and Career coach at FromWithinCoaching, I go through a very similar process with my clients. By asking the right questions, the people I work with eventually look themselves in the mirror and ask themselves how they can live their personal and professional lives with “no regrets.” That being said, it’s not easy finding a new job, changing industries, maneuvering through a challenging conversation, or being honest with oneself about having outgrown a role; it can be a lonely and overwhelming spot. But we only take this trip around the sun once – make sure it’s a regret-free adventure. Are you feeling stuck in the “regrets” zone? An exploratory session might be just the thing to get you out of a rut. You can read more about me and book your session below. I’d be honored to help. -Coach Lu Setnicka Many approach resume writing backwards. Why think of it as a personal work history when you can and should use it as a tool to reinvent yourself to manifest an incredible future? And by manifest, of course I mean create a focused intention you work your butt off to achieve. This is my goal in writing resumes, LinkedIn profiles, cover letters, and bios. I do not just help my clients get better jobs, I help them see, understand, and when I’m lucky, execute their skills and talents – even when they are just returning to the workforce or have gaps in their work history.
Mid-career job seekers have so much more to offer than work history: they bring life experience and transferable skills! When examined, understood, and properly portrayed, these experiences and skills can make you look amazing online (think LinkedIn profile) and become the fundamental elements of your new career. Here’s an example of what I mean. I have a completely esoteric hobby: Greenland Style kayak rolling. In Greenland the water is too cold to swim, so those who hunt from the kayak (and some still do!) must know how to roll in order to self-rescue when a wave or a walrus knocks them over. There are sixty or so different kinds of Greenland Style rolls. Some are done with spears instead of paddles, some are done with bare hands, some are done without any hands at all. I became fanatical about this style of kayaking, I learned about its history, I learned how to do it, I learned how to teach it. Being under water, stuck upside down in a kayak is scary. To get to a point where you can teach someone how to right herself from this scary place without totally freaking out, you must know what you’re doing, how to teach, and be trustworthy (your student’s life is literally in your hands). Sure, the body mechanics of the roll, the width of your kayak, the height of its deck… are all very important, but it is possibly more important to trust and believe you can do it. I help the student believe she can do it, then I show her how to use her strength, balance, and body (all things she already has) to roll up. What does this esoteric paddling tradition have to do with career communications? Everything except the cold water. Here are some of the skills and characteristics I have transferred from this life experience to my resume and a job that I love: Enthusiasm – The first time I witnessed G-style rolling, I knew I had to learn it. Research – I had to find out who knew how to do it and who could teach me. I had to experiment. Inquiry – I had to keep asking. Practice – Rolling is hard to do; I had to dedicate myself to practice. For years, the roll-over comb-over was my summer hair style. Dedication – Hard work, too. Mentoring – I joined different organizations, signing up to teach others how to roll. Humor – Humor is part of who I am. I need it to survive – in and out of the kayak. Compassion – I understand that my students might be a little anxious when learning this new skill. Such characteristics make great resume foundations and excellent career elements. In fact, I bring my kayak-teaching skills into play every time I write a resume (a big part of my work today). I understand and acknowledge that job hunting, like being stuck upside down in a skinny little boat, can be scary. I also understand that each of my clients already has the talents and skills they need to right the boat. By examining and insightfully representing transferable and skills and life experience, I help my clients reflect on who they are but who they can become. I will be presenting a workshop Friday, October 19 on exactly how. Join us at Vermont Tech Jam for Reinvent Yourself. Explore ways to rebuild your resume – and your confidence – in the face of change. Bring your laptop! No kayaking skills required. -Jane Taylor, your writer. We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time. — T.S. Eliot (1943) How many of you are going through life feeling broken, like you are missing something, have parts yourself you need to hide or need to have fixed in some way? How many of you feel that in order to achieve success or inner peace in life, you must learn some system or method and therefore try one self-help book after another searching for the right way to feel more positive, attract more wealth, overcome worry, become more effective, or lose 10 pounds? How many of you have an inner knowing that there has to be more to life and that there has to be more to you?
What if I told you that everything you need to make the transformations necessary to create the successes and inner peace you desire is actually within you just waiting to emerge? What if I told you that YOU are the only one with the answers you seek and that looking outside of yourself can actually make things worse and result in more self-judgement and feelings of helplessness as you ultimately fail to make lasting and sustainable change by using other’s methods? I truly believe that each of us is born with everything we need inside of us and that we all have an inner genius that is waiting for the proper conditions and nourishment to burst forth. Like the tiny acorn which grows into a might oak, we are each born with the potential and capacity to fulfill our own special destiny, to continuously grow and evolve and share our unique gifts and talents to enhance others and the world around us. However, as we grow, we constantly receive feedback and hear messages that lead us to believe it’s not Ok to be ourselves, that we are inadequate and need to act or be a certain way in order to be accepted. We learn to stifle and shut off the parts of ourselves that don’t fit in or don’t look like “the norm” and to quiet or ignore our inner wisdom which desperately urges us otherwise. Planted in this environment, our inner acorn struggles to develop the deep and secure roots necessary to support reaching our full and inherent potential. Although some of us grow an impressive reach above ground, we feel unstable, insecure and unfulfilled, and easily question our true power and purpose in life. My question to you is how are your inner and outer environments nourishing your growth towards your own unique potential? What is it that you want in life that you don’t ask for? What is standing in the way of you achieving your deepest desires? Where are you holding back your power? My passion is guiding individuals in creating their lives from the inside out in order to live a life aligned with their true purpose and individual passions and talents. How can I help you re-discover and cultivate your inner genius in order for you to live to your fullest potential? -Coach Augusta “The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep!” - Rumi I am usually the only person in sight on my daily summer sunrise walks. I pass cows, deer, and turkeys in the fields and hear only the songs of the birds and crickets. The stillness and sounds of dawn fill me with gratitude and appreciation for this magical time of day and the opportunities it provides for me to spend time focusing on myself. As a collegiate rower in California, I woke most mornings at 4:00 a.m in order to be at the boathouse for 5:00 a.m. practice. Waking early became a habit for me and while not easy at first to establish, it allowed me to invest time in myself to become both mentally and physically stronger while most everyone else was still asleep. The time we invest in ourselves is the best investment we can make as we strive to attain our career, life, health, and wellness goals. Purposely taking time each day for personal development and self-care can seem selfish and leave us feeling guilty or anxious, but the returns are significant and will impact every area of your life. Waking up early each morning to put the proverbial mask on ourselves first will result in increased self-confidence and self-esteem, strengthen our boundaries, and propel us forward to success with our goals.
So how exactly does harnessing the power of morning help us improve our lives and attain our goals? If you consider that the majority of people wake up and immediately go into a reactionary mode The alarm goes off, they grab their smartphones and start checking emails or social media, then go about getting ready for the day in the same way they do everyday with the same routines and the same thought patterns. These becomes repeatable patterns of living in the past as they are doing the same thing they did the previous mornings. Humans are creatures of habit; our lives are the result of the actions we repeatedly do. Being on autopilot in the mornings assures that we stay the same with predictable emotions and feelings and therefore, therefore, stay the same. Consider this title from Marshall Goldsmith’s book “What Got you Here Won’t Get You There” or this quote from Les Brown. “To achieve something you have never achieved before, you must become someone you have never been before.” We must purposely and intentionally take different actions and become somebody different in order to achieve the different results we desire in our lives. The early hours of the morning provide us the time to devote to self-development work and the platform from which to start our day in a way that sets us up for success. You don’t have to be a morning person or need an hour long routine to be able to harness the power in the moments after waking. How we structure our thoughts and what we do in the mornings can have a profound impact on our day. As a life coach, I often weave the opportunities that are abundant in the quiet moments after waking into my client’s goal getting and success endeavors and into their self-care design. Consider these questions for yourself: How would intentionally designing your mornings to include time for yourself affect how you experience your day? Are there opportunities in your morning to grow stronger, find more peace, more self-love, or more gratitude? What can you achieve in those quiet dawn hours that could change the trajectory of your life? And if you do have a morning routine, how could you enhance this important time to connect more to your purpose and to your goals? -Coach Augusta Drip, drip, drip. As a Coach who has owned her own business for over 13 years and who coaches business owners across the country, starting and managing their own businesses, I am often asked what is one of the best marketing ideas to help get the word out about their business. Most people seem to respond to their own questions with, “spend money on Google, right and flood the market?” And my response is usually, “sure, you could, but what if you tried drip irrigation first?” Most of the business owners I work with are not farmers, however there was one in Middlebury, VT that I adored working with, drip irrigation can help ANY business get off the ground. And it seems to be a “small step” that everyone can take without spending much money or time.
The idea of using drip irrigation in your marketing is based on an agricultural practice with the same name. In drip irrigation, crops are nurtured and grown using a perfectly measured amount of water delivered in “drips” over time. Drip marketing is characterized by the idea of “dripping” relevant pieces of information to customers at the appropriate moments. Drips are often referred to as “touches,” and are scheduled moments when the business reaches out to the customer. Sure, you could “touch” your customer by starting from scratch a website and making the excuse that once it is done, you’ll be successful because you have written a new blog post every day hoping to catch the attention of the entire internet that has no idea they should be looking to your website for your daily blog posts. BUT, what we know is that drip irrigation is always better than a flood when it comes to nourishing plants (and a growing or emerging business…). It gives your plants a chance to absorb what is coming at them vs. being flooded, practically drowning in information. So, how do I suggest you start drip irrigating to “nourish” the seeds of your business? LinkedIn… Using LinkedIn to market your business. You may be thinking, “but I thought LinkedIn was designed for someone to get a job Amy?” No, when LinkedIn was created in 2002, it mission statement was keyed to connecting the world’s professionals to make them more productive and successful. And it still is that platform, especially for your business. This is a great way to “Get Clients” by speaking to them in measured moments, to educate or share with them information they may find interesting. The message many new (and existing) business owners get is that they should be blogging about their company, or at least about the industry their company caters to. One does not need a fancy website (or delaying the launch of your business as an excuse of not having one) to become a blogger. And you don’t need to write 1,000 words every few days to get the attention of your customers. Emerging entrepreneurs most likely has a LinkedIn profile, because they most likely have a professional network built up over the years from the jobs they held prior to starting a business. Speaking to your customers can be as simple as just updating your LI profile that you own a business and publishing a few thoughts on the industry you are now in…and you will start to build your customer base from the network you created on LinkedIn. By doing so, you spark a thought in them that, for example, for me as a Coach who works with business owners, I want people to think, “Wow, Amy really shares some great articles about Subject X…I should think about sending my cousin to her who is also interested in starting a business around Subject X.” Share what others have written. By sharing with the world your thoughts on articles or blog posts OTHERS have written, you can baby step into the world of blogging without having to write a super long post. Because trust me, only folks on my team like Jane Taylor, REALLY love writing. The rest of us, tolerate it. Especially blogging about ourselves. Or our businesses. So, the excuse of “I don’t know what to write about” or “I am a bad writer” doesn’t have to be the excuse to not share and comment on an article you find interesting. What does it look like to comment on someone else’s posts? Find an article that connects what your business or you think your client base may find interesting, adding, “this is a wonderful article that made me think of _____” and post it on LinkedIn…what I love about this approach is you don’t have to write a full blog, just find an article on a topic that interests you and comment on it…then provide the link in the post. It gives you SEO ability because you are using someone else’s article, so folks may find you to find the article, but it also gives people a sense of what is important to you. Plant your seeds, but don’t flood them. By starting to plant the seeds to your network that you are a business owner without screaming “I am selling to you, hire me, or buy from me”, you are watering with small drips, your business, helping folks start to think of you as a subject matter expert in the business that you won.” Plus, it is fun to go look for GREAT articles written by other subject matter experts and share them with your network. And by drip irrigating and not flooding your audience and network with “buy from me, hire me, blah, blah, blah” they are going to start to feel drawn to you and what you are actually selling. You don’t need to write every day, but one post, once a week commenting on an article you just read is a great start. And in owning a business, baby steps or drip irrigation of effort is a sure cure for every day fear. And creating an audience for your business. What can you do to create a trickle in your business, your life, or your career? Side note: Thank you to the Coach who inspired this blog post…rumor is after speaking to him about drip irrigation for his own coaching practice, he took it a step further and bought a drip irrigation system for his lawn…it’s a start for sure…may the “waters” you bring to the world help nourish others (and your flowers…) -Coach Amy After listening to Matt Fitzgerald’s book on endurance athletic sports, How Bad Do You Want It, I started thinking about perceived effort when it comes to life off the field, track, or pitch. His book dedicates ample time to the idea that human beings often underestimate the amount of effort it takes to scale the change they seek. Whether it is change in career, change in life, change in health, change in business, or any other change.
It is an athlete’s perceptions of effort, not their physical limitations, that ultimately limit athletic performance. The ability to withstand increased perception of effort can be trained, just like physical capacity. Some interventions can reduce the perception of effort – as the limit of perceived effort moves to a new place, the physical performance is increased. The maximum level of perceived effort an athlete is willing/able to tolerate depends on their motivations for doing so. Or, as described in the book: “Physical fitness determines where the wall that represents your physical limit is placed. Mental fitness determines how close you are able to get to that limit in competition. Mental fitness is a collection of coping skills – behaviors, thoughts and emotions that help athletes master the discomfort and stress of the athletic experience, mainly by increasing tolerance for perceived effort and by reducing the amount of effort that is perceived at any given intensity of exercise.” In life, as in sports, perception rules. When your perception limits your ability to change, it’s time to hire a coach. A professional coach can help you gain new perspective and create a plan to develop your perceived effort toleration. We help you focus on your mental fitness when it comes to the change you seek and the perceived effort to get there. “One of the best ways to see ourselves clearly is to ask others to hold up a mirror. ‘Top athletes and singers have coaches,’ surgeon and author Atul Gawande reflects in Option B – Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant. ‘Should you?’ Sports teams are recognizing the importance of looking for players who can learn from their failure. In sports, taking suggestions from a coach is the whole point of practice. The ability to listen to feedback is the sign of resilience, and some of those who do it best gained that strengths in the hardest way possible.” You’ve probably had a coach at some point in your life. Maybe it was for your little league soccer games, college swim meets, or violin practice. They taught you new skills, held you accountable, made you a better person, and (hopefully) were a super supportive mentor. But then, you grew up and found yourself out on our own. Some of you may be lucky enough to have awesome family and friends, but they’re not going to listen tirelessly to your problems or hold you accountable to learn new skills. So, you settle for less than you deserve in your career, love life, and all-around happiness. A professional coach is an objective, confidential mentor that can support you in the change you seek. As a coach, we aren’t going to let you keep talking about your problems, we are going to help you solve them and kick fear to the curb by taking action. We all have free will to change. But often we don’t change because it’s easier not to. We perceive that our current situation is better than the unknown. It’s easier to go to work every day at a job we don’t love than it is to figure out our passion and pursue the unknown. Let’s face it, if it was easy to change and obtain the life you want, you would have done it already. Coaching will help you value what you think about yourself more than what everyone else thinks about you. You’ll start taking actions you never thought you could. And by using a professional coach, you can achieve the success you seek, but you don’t have to worry about that annoying whistle you may have hated as a child on the soccer field. You ready? Head over to FromWithinCoaching.com and schedule a complimentary exploratory session with one of our professional coaches to learn more about how we can help YOU, take the next step to making the change you dream of. -Coach Amy This morning while reading the Society for Human Resource Management’s daily communiqué, I was drawn to an article titled “Why CEOs Should Have HR Experience.” Have to admit, having been in the HR field most of my professional career, I’m a pretty strong advocate for this point of view.
The lead paragraph states “A CEO’s most important responsibilities typically include maximizing employee performance, setting values to define the organization’s culture, overseeing the company’s return on investment, and making sure the talent pipeline is full of needed expertise for years to come.” So true. As many leaders have found, if you can’t get the people part of the organizational puzzle figured out, there’s a high likelihood success will not follow. One of the experts quoted in the article states HR leaders bring a trait to the corporate table that may not be fully developed in their colleagues: “People-Centered Leadership.” At the end of the day, it’s the organization’s people that are going to drive and champion business strategies and a leadership style focused on the value of human capital will go a long way to ensuring that happens. So what does this have to do with coaching? Coaching is a tool to help develop a leadership style that is more people-centric. If you’re not inspiring your teams to achieve the results you know are possible or are avoiding conversations you’re certain could lead you and your organization to greatness, it may be time to call for support. As coaches, we know you have all the answers; we’re just here to ask the right questions. And there’s no wiggling out of responding since we hold you accountable (unlike those highly creative ways you avoid these conversations with yourself). As an Executive Coach, I pull leaders toward the development of Courageous Cultures, those in which authenticity is paramount and employee engagement is at its peak. If you’re interested in creating that sort of environment and becoming a more people-centric leader, it’s time to book a free exploratory session. Who knows, your next step might be CEO! -Coach Lu Setnicka It’s true. Our decisions determine our future. They influence our achievements, our sense of purpose, and our overall happiness. Even the seemingly small decisions that we make every day—what to have for lunch? what time to go to bed? what movie to see this weekend? post it on social media or not? —are building blocks of our future selves and ultimately of the quality of our lives.
Whether we realize it or not, we are constantly choosing to either seize an opportunity for growth or make an excuse that allows us to remain within our comfort zone. Most of us are hardwired to stick to what we know. Why risk our sense of security for something bolder and brighter when there’s a chance it might not work out? It’s a good question. But reframe it. Instead of listing all of the things that could go wrong (i.e. making excuses to “play it safe”), dream up all of the things that could go right. The challenge then becomes justifying why we wouldn’t give up safety and predictability to take a chance. When we allow ourselves to envision all of the opportunities that exist outside of our comfort zone, the possibilities for who we can become are endless. We are the limits we create for ourselves, after all. Not so sure? Does the name Bethany Hamilton ring a bell? Oscar Pistorius? How about Jason Lester? The competitive surfer, sprint runner, and endurance athlete respectively, are world-class athletes who have earned international recognition for not only excelling in their sports, but for doing so despite having suffered the loss of a limb—in Oscar Pistorius’s case, two limbs. These athletes risked privacy, humiliation, and their own comfort zone to pursue what lit a spark in them. And they did so by refusing to put limits on what could be achieved; they chose the brilliance that comes from choosing opportunity over excuses. -Coach Alexandra Hughes Fear is a universal emotional response to a perceived threat. Our ancestors passed down to us the instinctual type of fear that protects us from danger and plays an important role in self-preservation. Core fears, however, are the deep-rooted fears that live in our subconscious and are the result of childhood conditioning or trauma. These fears are the inner voices and thoughts of “I am not good enough”, “I don’t deserve” or “I am not loveable.” They often appear when we are faced with a choice of trying a new activity, like joining a group, speaking in public, or even speaking up for ourselves. They swirl madly in our minds and reach deep inside of us to encircle and clench our throats, chest, and gut and warn us with “You might fail,” “You might look stupid” or “You might say the wrong thing.” The result is that we stay quiet and small, and constrained.
We are automatically triggered by the unpleasant thoughts and feelings these fears produce and our pattern of reactions to these dictate how we live our lives. Many of us will cope with these unpleasant feelings by avoiding situations, numbing with food, alcohol, or technology. We exist on “autopilot” and are held back from living fully, from loving freely, and from living to our fullest potential. What if instead of automatically pulling back or reacting with old patterns when these fears emerge, you instead leaned in a bit and saw these fears as an invitation to make a different choice? What if you were able to sit with the uncomfortable feelings they produce and get curious about where they came from and about how they are keeping you from achieving your goals and dreams? What would you step into and what would you do if you weren’t held back by these core fears? Who would you be? What actions would you take? What would you achieve? As a Clarity and Life Transformation Coach, I help clients become aware of and understand the origin and meaning of their limiting core fears so that they can break free from living a life in reaction to them. Once free, they are able to live a life directed by intention and full of peace, joy, and created success. What would you do if you were free? -Coach Augusta For most of the East Coast, today was a huge day for celebration. The temperatures shifted (especially in Vermont) from -20℉ to 20℉. (That is 40 degrees, people!) After 15 days of bitter cold, it suddenly felt warm. Yesterday, it was rumored to be colder in some places on Earth than it was on the planet Mars…you know, the planet that is known for its COLD weather? Yes, we beat its temperature low by at least 20 degrees. That is cold. But seriously, we celebrated 20℉ today?
Uhm, 20℉ is cold, there is no way around it, but feels warm compared to what we had been experiencing. This perception made me think about how human beings can assimilate much easier to change and discomfort than we think we can. It took us only 15 days to become acclimatized to below-zero weather. It was not until the brutal weather lifted that we realized how, although it wasn’t easy or comfortable, we got used to feeling a certain way: COLD. We didn’t love it, but we got used to it. What else can we get used to faster and with less discomfort than we imagine? Job change that might require a slight salary decline, but that offers more fulfilment? Leaving a relationship that is not serving you anymore, but you feel too scared to be alone? Starting a business based on your passions, but being so unsure where to even start, you are paralyzed? Change often brings discomfort. But discomfort is not death. Discomfort is short lived when you keep moving forward through the change. When we try to anticipate the discomfort of change, we often underestimate our ability to acclimatize to it. So, if you found yourself celebrating the giant temperature swing today because 20℉ felt warm, ask yourself what else you could do this week to make a change that in 15 days could feel so much less fearful. Perhaps all you need to do is put on the proverbial set of extra mittens to start your change…trust me, in 15 days, any discomfort that you felt on the first day, will soon be long gone. As Mark Twain reminds us, it is up to us to explore, dream, and discover. What’s stopping you? -Coach Amy |
AuthorThe authors of these blogs include incredible Coaches and Writers at FromWithin Coaching who are inspired to share their thoughts, ideas, comments, and possibilities with YOU, the reader. Archives
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