What Box Are You Stuck In?

About 5 years ago, I got tired of trying to fit myself into a box that I created. It looked something like the photo above...
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Though this fella looks fairly comfortable, I was not. I was cranky and tired and angry and overweight. I was short-tempered with my kids and even though I wanted to take care of myself on weekends and go for hikes, do fun things, and create art, I was utterly drained by my work week and unable to enjoy myself or my kids.
 
The box I created was partially made of the need to prove to my father that I was a valuable human in this world by doing what he approved of (yup, even in my late 40s!) rather than what I wanted, and fear. I had built a massive fear box. You see, like many humans, we have strengths and interests that bring us an enormous amount of joy, but these strengths often get tampered down by society or by our families who generally have the best of intentions, but their fear gets in the way and is what encourages them to tell us what we ‘should’ do in our lives….and we sometimes believe it.
 
I was a joyful child of dreams, ideas, and creativity. I was always thinking up new games and creating secret forts in the woods which of course were all wrapped into a giant web of stories of protecting the land from made-up enemies. I was always starting a new project and I always had a pencil in my hand designing my future homes….er uhhhh….castles and dreaming up plans and businesses for my life. At one point I was going to become a dolphin trainer and bring inner city kids to experience their gentle beauty (no idea how…I didn’t live by the ocean….I mean I was only 9).

​Some called me flighty, a space cadet, or in the clouds. I went to art school and then got a master’s in education taking me closer and closer to the ‘should’. Life took some unplanned and traumatic turns, and I made choices so that I could feed my children as a single mom while slowly building my fear box.
 
AND THEN….AND THEN….I took the CliftonStrengths Assessment and the world opened up to me! My strengths validated me and the ways that I thought and went about my days. I realized why it was so easy for me to see patterns and connect the dots in ways that many others couldn’t. Finally, I knew in my core that it was ok to be dreamy, full of ideas, positive, and always ready to try something new because my top CliftonStrengths are:

1. Ideation
2. Positivity
3. Strategic (seeing patterns and connecting dots)
4. Futuristic
5. Adaptability
 
Once I took a deep dive into what my strengths meant and what happens when you’re not using them (cranky and tired and angry and drained), my life changed. I am not joking. I got out of a soul-sucking work situation, that paid well but was killing me, knowing that I’d land on my feet because I always had I just was unable to see that because I had built my fear box out of bricks. Understanding that my different interests, dreams, and strengths changed from something I was ashamed of to my superpower. I became a career and trauma coach, refurbished my garage into my art studio, and with the energy I had from doing what I truly wanted and not doing what I didn’t want to do in the first place, I started hiking, running, and playing sports again. My kids were happier because I was happier.
 
Yep, I still am always thinking of what’s next, creating proverbial forts wound up in storylines, being creative in my studio and in the world of podcasting, and I invite all women over 50 to allow their strengths to change their lives if they want, or to simply feel the stunning validation that CliftonStrengths can offer you to get you out of your brick box.
 
-  Coach Mary

WOMEN OVER 50: WHAT’S NEXT?
CliftonStrengths 2-hour Zoom Event
November 10, 2022
​12 pm EST/9 am PST

Register Here