The Most Important Lesson I Share with My Coaching Clients (And Practice DAILY Myself)

If there’s one foundational shift I encourage my clients to make that literally changes their lives (and my own), it’s this:

Learn to respond instead of react.

This single choice can redefine your leadership, your relationships, your inner peace—and your energy. 

I have learned to choose presence over impulse. And I save energy and a TON of wasted time pretending I can read minds. Because what I am reacting to, often, is not what is really happening. 

Responding is intentional. It’s the moment you mentally tap the brakes and ask,
“What is the truth in this situation?”
It invites clarity. It gives your higher self a seat at the table. It’s where real growth and grounded action happen.

Reacting, in contrast, is when the body hijacks the moment. Emotions surge. The nervous system overrides reason. You speak or act without pausing—and often regret it later. It’s draining, not just emotionally, but energetically.

I’ve had to learn (and re-learn) this lesson personally. There was a moment in my life—one I won’t forget that was the turning point from me—someone VERY close to me said something that cut deep. It wasn’t just the words; it was what they triggered. Old wounds. Stories I thought I had healed. My body reacted instantly: tight chest, heat behind the eyes, a wave of emotion rushing in.
Everything in me wanted to lash out. Defend. Shut down. Prove something.
But something inside me whispered, “Wait.”

So I stepped away. Breathed. Sat with the discomfort. And I asked myself the question that’s become an anchor:
“What is the truth here?”

The truth was: I was hurt. Not because of what was said—but because of what it touched in me.

The truth was: reacting would only create more disconnection.
The truth was: I had a choice.
That moment changed me.

In high-pressure moments, it’s tempting to let reaction win. But choosing to respond instead? That’s where true power lives. It’s not about being passive—it’s about being present.

This is the work: creating space between the trigger and the choice. That space is everything.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
— Viktor E. Frankl

Reacting is easy. Responding is self- leadership. If you're done being pulled by urgency and ready to lead with clarity and intention, let’s talk. We’d be honored to hold space for you in a complimentary exploratory session.

Join me next week for 3 practical tips on how to start responding instead of reacting.

Small shifts. Big results.
-Amy Magyar, PCC, ICF Mentor Coach